Urban Tribe Collapses

CHICAGO – Doomed by dreadful defense, the Chicago Urban Tribe (3-1) finished up the month of September with an 8-10 loss to Team Hotness. (2-2)

“We failed. We failed as a team,” Joggler said. “There’s no pointing fingers. There’s no excuses. We as a unit didn’t get the job done.”

What followed was an awkward scene at Union Park.

The UT fans including Brian and the “can I have 60 cents” panhandler were speechless. They saw the mighty Urban Tribe rally only to fall late in the game. It made the after-game festivities at Third Rail feel more like a categorical word game about dry hair shampoo than a party.

“It would have been better if we would have won today,” Ditka said.

The dream of an undefeated season was shattered like Bush’s hopes of passing that $700 billion, rich guy bail out.

Missing Mark, Ryan & Christy due to injuries and work, plus a host of late-comers left the UT scrambling to fill spots in the early innings. Team DJ, Markie Margie Pierogi, filled in admirably as catcher to start the game. Mayday, playing short stop for the first time all season, just barely missed making a diving catch. But the UT held tough giving up only 1 run in the first inning.

Lead-off hits by Gabby & the Brewmaster were wasted when some poor base coaching led to a bases clearing double play. They’ve gotta stop letting their base coaches drink. But the offense finally came around in the fourth inning when they exploded for 4 runs. They added a couple more runs in the fifth and scored 8 for the entire game. The last one coming on an excellent line drive by K-ron that scored John Kelly.

“We scored enough that we should’ve won this one,” said Meatball who had 2 hits in 3 at bats.

Unfortunately, defensively the team experienced error after error giving up a season high 10 runs. The first faux pas happened early when first baseman Gould took an errant throw from the Joggler in the face.

“It’s tough to swallow,” Gould said. Although we couldn’t tell if this was a reference to the kickball game or the recent coming out of Clay Akin.

Other misplays happened on balls blasted out to the outfield catching the UT fielders off guard.

“I have to believe it, because it’s happening,” John Kelly said. “It’s a bad group for you to be there, as a player. I have no more words.”

When asked about the events in the field, normally sure-handed Brewmaster said, “I’d rather not think about it.” It was reminiscent of McCain’s feelings about Palin’s interview with Katie Couric.

The UT was tied with We Are Huge In Japan as the only undefeated teams prior to the loss.

“You feel heartbroken,” Wild Thang said.

Joggler (3-1) pitched a complete game giving up 10 runs on a bunch of hits and errors. He was out dueled by a smoking and drinking pitcher who had a hard time suppressing her delight.

“It is fun. I’m not going to lie to you,” Hotness pitcher Stephanie was heard saying as she puffed her cigarette between pitches. “The Tribe is good, but they just didn’t show up today.”

With the UT trailing by 2, Team Hotness sat down the last 5 batters to claim their second victory of the season. The game ended when offensive powerhouse Denim kicked a booming fly ball that was caught by the center fielder.

“I’m still kind of in shock over it,” a teary-eyed Denim said before cutting his comments short. “I can’t describe it. If I could take it back, I would, but I can’t.”

After the game the UT finished their beers and waxed on philosophical.

“We weren’t able to put it together, for whatever reason,” Mayday said. “We are a playoff-caliber kickball club that didn’t get it done.”

Get it done is what they’ll have to do next week if they want to right the ship. They take on We Get the Runs (3-1) at 8:30pm.

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