Kickball Chronicle – Game 3 – September 17, 2008

Dear Mom,

How are you?  I’m fine.  So sorry I haven’t Skyped you but you know how it is when Urban Tribe kickball season starts.  The non-stop travel and play is taxing.  Take last week’s game for example.

We were driving back from a trip to Minnesota when Denim called and said  “The game’s being moved.”  Even worse, we didn’t know who was supposed to bring beer.  You remember the last kickball game where we didn’t have beer?  The results were disastrous.  Fortunately, Denim stepped up to the plate and brought libations to satisfy the team’s adipsous.  I know how you don’t like to encourage drinking but even Jesus turned water into wine to help save a party.

The game was actually pretty exciting and a nice distraction from the stress of the collapse of the US economy.  We scored our first run when John Kelly and Denim both hit doubles.  Mr Blue Jeans might’ve scored on K-ron’s single but alas, speed left those legs right around the same time Phil Collins torpedoed his career with that cheesy “Two Hearts” ditty.

There were a few plays which you might find interesting.  Maybe you could let me know which one you think was the craziest.

1.   Mayday legged out a dribbler back up the middle.  She was safe and then inexplicably tried to cut across the diamond to get to second base.  I guess everyone has brief moments of confusion.  Have enough of them and you too can run for president.  She scored her first run of the season.

2.  John Kelly scored after Christy kicked a single and Emmit’s stopped paying attention to the kickball.  It was sitting 2 feet from home but everyone was looking at Christy.

3.  I got called out after missing home plate and getting tagged by the catcher.  It was a ridiculous call as there was no home plate!!  I know Mom, God did it for a reason.  I tell you, I certainly wasn’t pointing to the sky after that debacle.  On the plus side, Wild Thang was happy though because she specifically told me “Don’t hit a home run because I want another at bat!”

4.  Denim slides into third base and claims he will not wash his pants for the rest of the season.  We’ll see.

On the defensive side, we had our best game of the season.  The Architect hooked up with Gould to throw out Emmit after Emmit player.  It was like watching someone play that Buckhunter game in a bar.  I just hope the Architect can make it to tonight’s game.  I saw him on Dancing with the Stars last night and he looked good.

Our outfielders were stellar with sparkling plays made by John Kelly, Ryan and Brewmaster.  JK made a sliding catch which prompted Brewmaster to complain, “How come the ball gets hit out there when you’re playing that position?”  An inning later God must’ve been listening because he had one hit to him.  Unfortunately, “Oh sh**!” was his response to that as he slipped on the field trying to get it.

Excellent plays were also made by Wild Thang, K-ron, Christy, and Meatball.  Oh yeah, and remember that girl Gabby who you used to baby sit for back in the 80’s?  Yeah she’s on the team and she made a great play at second base.  She’s been a great addition to the team.   If only she could start kicking the ball where people aren’t.  As she says, “There’s too many people on the field!”

We crushed team Emmit’s 9-0 for our first shut-out of the year.  Their team captain was heard to say “I’m gonna have nightmares about you guys.”  The UT is on fire.

After the game we went to Cleo’s where Ditka joined us.  Our Tribe got a bit loud with some team members expressing outrage at the latest Sarah Palin gaff.  Gould wowed us with trivia like “How deep is the ice in Antarctica?”  Apparently, it’s like 2 miles thick or something.

Well, we’ve got another game tonight so I’ve gotta run.  Tell Dad I said “hi” and that I’m still waiting for him to get that home made distiller going.

Take care,

Love
Perry, 44

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