Stumbling to the finish line

For this week’s chronicle, I wanted to write a dramatic piece about how the Urban Tribe came out strong, fell behind, and then in glorious fashion thumped Move, Pitch Get Out the Way to finish with a perfect 6-0 record. I wanted to write that, but it didn’t happen. What did happen was a tough loss featuring the worst kickball play I’ve seen since 1985 when little Bobby Vinatari donned the blue and gold gym shorts for the first time in months and proceeded to pick up the red ball any chance he got and throw it at the closest person. Evidently, he couldn’t figure out that kickball is different than dodge ball.

On the defensive side we had more drops than a white haired clown in a pink tutu. It was as if we all dipped our hands in Vaseline before going out in the field. Now I understand that Vaseline can spice up a weekend, but this is kickball people! For the playoffs, let’s try to keep that stuff at home.

On the offensive side we were quite at best. Sure, Mayday & Denim got a few hits and most everyone else got one hit. Unfortunately, these turned into a paltry 2 runs. This would’ve been fine if we were playing a team that scored like the Oakland Raiders but this was Move, Pitch, Get Out the Way. Despite the fact that they are grammatically challenged, they can definitely boot that ball. And catch it too. They snagged nearly every ball that was even close to them. It was like we were playing the Urban Tribe.

But it’s over. Let’s put it behind us. We’ve got a lot to be proud of this season. We bested our record from last year and nearly had a perfect season. The playoffs start tonight and we’ve got to get our A game back. We need to play smooth and relaxed like Emmit Smith in his Ultraflex Jazz Oxfords. We need to catch, and kick, and keep that music spinning.

We have the talent to win the league championship for the first time in the Urban Tribe’s fabled history. Now let’s get out there and win it!

The Joggler

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