The Pilot and Porn Star blast their balls to victory
09/19/06
Urban Tribe,
Welcome to another edition of the Kickball Chronicles. We’ve got a few new faces on the team and we’re poised to make a serious run at the championship this year. Last week was the first game we actually played and it was a solid performance.
Our offense was a little slow to get started. We made a little noise in the first and second innings, but we didn’t get on the board until the third when the Porn Star launched a towering fly ball to right field. Their fielder did her best to make the catch, but ended up looking more like a bumper on a pinball machine. The ball looked like one of those animated karaoke word guides, landing right on her face, knocking her to the ground and bouncing thoughtlessly away. By the time their first baseman tracked down the ball, Porny was already rounding third and easily plated our first run of the season.
After that score, our legs went dormant. Six outs in a row. There were a couple of hits scattered over the next few innings with Mayday McKenzie legging out two hits, but no runs resulted. I hope we see a little more offensive output this week. While Brew Master Boone and Sorq had some great kicks, they were just in reach of awaiting defenders. I know you, and yours truly, have a lot more hits in your legs than that.
It looked like it would be a shut-out until a fluke play in the 6th inning allowed the Kickball Ring to tie it up. With runners on first and second, no outs a line shot was nailed to Denim over at first. He knocked the ball down and touched first to erase the kicker from the equation. Then he wound up and threw a perfect strike that clipped their runner advancing to second in the back for an unassisted double play! Unfortunately, their remaining runner sensed the chance to be a heroine and just kept going after rounding third. We got the ball and made a throw home but Achilles smiled on her making her just a split second too fast. Blasted Achilles! He’s never on the Tribe’s side.
It looked like extra innings until the Pilot came up to lead off the bottom of the 7th. Earlier in the game he sent a great kick to the outfield that would’ve surely been a homer but for a surprising diving grab made by their center field. He got his revenge. On the first pitch he booted a major leaguer to right field. The ball bounded away from their fielder and Pilot kept running until he made it home. No play, game over. The Urban Tribe is now 2-0.
Our defense was solid on nearly every play. It had to be to hold our young, upstart opponents to a mere 1 run. The rookie John Kelly stopped balls like a trap door spider snagging unsuspecting fire ants as they walk past his lair. Everything the K-Ring sent his way was quickly enveloped by his spindly arms. There was some rumbling about a third base controversy but let me end that talk right now. Until shown otherwise, The Architect is still first chair at the hot corner.
Other notable performances in the field included a great grab at short by newcomer Meetha and some solid short center work by Christie. Truthfully, there isn’t much more to report as the hapless K-Ring offense didn’t put more than one or two balls past the infield. Pink made a valiant effort on a ball hit to second, but a sudden wind gust and a tricky spin allowed the ball to just wiggle out of her grasp. The gutsiest performance was put in by Jim Gould. He made every play sent his way despite a recent softball injury that’s made his left arm about as a $6 million bionic arm without a computer interface.
Nice work team. Let’s keep it up for next week.
